Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have tasted many bathrooms
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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