My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
