6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize