Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
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He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
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all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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