im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
