soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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