it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
my liver is dry heaving
The dick lei will go down in squad history
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
