It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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