She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize