Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
