just come out here and I will go home with you...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
