saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
