Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
