she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
