My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
