Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
