I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
