So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
