I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
