Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
