My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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