dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
