hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
how do you play pong handcuffed?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
