Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
