Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
is that a dick in a sweater?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
