I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
