I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
