Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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