3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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