I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
