I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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