i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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