we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
