Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
