i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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