we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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