I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
