omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
