you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
