Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
