i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
