is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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