i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
