she smelled like a LAN party
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
