Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
