Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
