38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
