remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize