i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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