When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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