this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
