If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just had sex on a roof
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
