Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
