I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
