I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
