Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
