is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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