Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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