Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Duck Duck Cougar?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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