Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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