How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
