i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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