I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
