Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
