she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
