This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
