What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
