i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
