i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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